What a week! This has been one of those weeks that I want to hold onto but also let go of. Like a tide sweeping the shore; giving and taking.
Our son left and made his big move to Los Angeles, CA, which left me breathless and feeling like there was a hole in my chest. I hold on to his excitement for this new adventure, his determination, the look in his eye knowing that something new is coming, and the elation of uncharted waters. We are so proud and excited for him, but as parents, it’s so bittersweet. A friend of mine shared a story of when her kids starting leaving home; a dear friend of hers asked, “in raising your kids, what was your goal?” All of us would respond, I’m sure.. that we want to raise, independent, well-adjusted, self-sufficient, kids, with goals, and dreams and extraordinary intensions. That is how she answered. That’s exactly how I would answer….her friend then said, “that’s exactly what you have done.” Such wise words, and something I have thought about for the past week. My job <our job> is done….and this man is on his way to perusing life to the fullest. This I’m holding on to. And the letting go, well that’s just what this week has been in it’s entirety. Letting go of a child, letting go of tears, letting go of feeling melancholy, letting go of some heartache…and letting God meet me right there. I know as time passes that all of these feeling will be let go of…but maybe not. I am quite sure as a parent, that there will always be that ache for your kids. The hardest best thing I’ve ever done: Parenting.
On an up-note…can I just raise a glass to my friends? Texts, notes, messages, prayers, fun little “comfort packages” full of all things comfort (Meltz Extreme Grilled Cheese gift card, dark chocolate covered fortune cookies <seriously these things ROCK> even a little hooch in the form of hot, cinnamon-y liquor) <LOL> cards, calls, emails, even a pj’s and wine slumber party/sleepover. I have been blessed beyond measure with such incredible friends. They are so giving and thoughtful. Just the essence of true, unadulterated friendship. ~Greater love has no one than this…
I have also started “officially” into Ironman Boulder training. It has been nice to have a plan and a focus, especially this week. My body has felt great, but I have been tired. I’m sure the upswing in training matched with my emotions has gotten the better of me. I am excited about training, and even about being back in the pool! <surprise> It’s been fun to feel my gills responding to the water and meeting friends for training again. I know how this works and that I will be tired. I know that my body will most certainly rebel. I know my mind will wash in all sorts of reasons why I shouldn’t do this. I will be cranky, and starving and exhausted. But my heart just gushes a big, YES! Yes, you can! And that’s exactly what keeps me going.
Seeing our son leave, with such great anticipation, reminded me of this: that although parenting, and moving, and Ironman, and <fill in the blank> are hard at times….the end result and the reward of it all is so much better.