Final Words

Posted on December 16, 2020 by sportymama70 | 7 Comments

It’s been a tough year, but I hope you have found plenty to celebrate.

As we’ve had an intricate dance with a global pandemic, massive storms that have broken records and an election that is seeming to last years, not spending as much time with friends and family, I hope you’ve found time for joy. For thanksgiving, laughter and happiness.

2020 has taken its toll. I don’t remember any other time in my life that I have I seen so much devastation and it’s heartbreaking. I’ve seen too much ugliness in our world. Friends and family literally ripping one another apart. The deepest visceral cuts ever imagined. Relationships possibly lost forever. Humanity at its tipping point. I have seen tears and pain and promises lost. I’ve seen people frozen in fear over a pandemic.

I’ve done my best to stay neutral. As much as possible. I’ve also done my best at staying distant, wearing my mask, and making my vote count in the election ALL without sticking a knife in others, because, guess what? We live in a country of freedom and isn’t that a glorious thing? We also live in a world with a novel pandemic that science is studying and learning about, and data is changing daily. I’m doing what I can without ripping hearts out, without being ugly. Life is too short.

As we head into this next year all I can do is pray. That’s my reassurance. I don’t live a life of fear and hate and contempt and distress or unease because for me; hope remains. I can’t and don’t allow fear to rip what is good out of me.

I’m a natural born optimist. I live daily with enthusiastic trust and confidence that there are ALWAYS good things happening every day around me. I am a seeker of joy and ebullience. This is a such a gift, but I know it’s not from ME, it’s what’s IN me that makes the difference.

Sure, I have moments of dismay. I get heartbroken. I cry and get angry when I see the abominable acts, brokenness and grief. In that, I still search for the jewels, still put myself in the way of joy.

I’ve tried in earnest to keep things as “normal” as possible in our home. I think it’s made a difference. I don’t have the news on. I read the news, once a morning, to not have my head in the sand, but I don’t completely entrench myself in it, sitting in a soup of hopelessness. I have and will always maintained a good exercise program. I’ve had to adapt to gym closings and yoga studio closings early on during quarantine, but I got pretty creative on my own in our home and outside in parks. I’ve still kept up running OUTSIDE because fresh air daily is like liquid freaking GOLD for your body! I can run and not be close to people or can run in the woods with my girlfriends and have plenty of wild space to suck up all sorts of good energy, endorphins, laughter and completely detox whilst running in the sticky, humid wilderness.

I just finished a great book and loved what he said about exercise for mental and physical health;

“Movement is big medicine; it’s the signal to every cell in our bodies that no matter what kind of damage we’ve suffered, we’re ready to rebuild and move away from death and back toward life. Rest too long after an injury and your system powers down, preparing you for a peaceful exit. Fight your way back to your feet, however, and you trigger that magical ON switch that speeds healing hormones to everything you need to get stronger: your bones, brain, organs, ligaments, immune system, even the digestive bacteria in your belly, all get a molecular upgrade from exercise.”

A peaceful exit from not moving? No thanks!

I have continued to devour books because that’s something that I’ve ALWAYS loved. I’ve read over 50 books this year. They have the ability to transport me a million miles away, make me laugh, make me cry, make me fall in love, make me heartsick, make me smart and make me brave.

I’ve stayed off social media more, because honestly, I think it’s like dumping garbage into your soul. Hello dumpster fire.

I’ve sustained a continuous pursuit to good food and have done a lot of new experimenting in the kitchen which has been so fun!

Ive made green smoothies daily that LITERALLY make our insides COME TO LIFE.

I’ve sat with my face in the sun.

We’ve continued to chase laughter with all we have. It’s such an immune booster.

I’ve danced daily and make my husband cringe with my music choices. (Also something I’ve done my entire life… just ask our kids, who as teenagers were completely shamefaced by it, but now have no problem “dancing it out” with their Mama.)

Water! Because water is life.

We’ve continued to minimize and stay uncluttered physically, emotionally and materially.

We’ve taken some pretty incredible trips this year. Not the trips we originally had planned for 2020, but we allowed the disruption of no international travel to push us to discover more of our own gorgeous country. AND because of the pandemic, it’s been easier than ever, without crowds. We were able to spend more time with our family and friends on the west coast than we normally would have and to visit places commonly plagued with tourists. Imagine standing at the monuments in Washington DC without another person around!

It’s also turned our prayer life upside down and through that we’ve felt a colossal closeness with God and have seen an abundance of answered prayer.

It does bother me, what this year is doing to others. I realize not everyone has the capacity to leap out of bed everyday, happy. Working from home, schooling from home, college students home, people losing family, losing jobs, healthcare workers over- worked. It’s a lot. It’s too much, actually! So I pray. I know that’s really the only real power I have, because I know ultimately I have no control over this.

I pray that one tiny thing can put a smile on a face or a flutter of exuberance inside someone.

We woke up to rain this morning and when I stepped outside, our windows had ladybugs on them. Do you notice the slightest of things? Just this made me smile and wonder what so many of those tiny, spotted ladies are doing here right now?

I pray that this nation, it’s healthcare workers, it’s businesses and people will recover. That on a daily, we can wake and recognize a gift, even if it is that you rolled out of bed today with breath in your lungs and have a new day to live, realizing what an extraordinary person you are! How much you matter. What a difference maker you are. Just smiling at someone with the crinkle of your eyes over your mask at the grocery store, is making a difference. Do you wake every day and see what an award life is and that it’s not to be squandered or wasted?

I pray that there are enough light shiners out there to spread light through the deepest, darkest cracks.

I do know one thing, we are a people and a nation of resilience. A country of hardiness, toughness, determination and courage. We are overcomers!

My word for the year is

Fortitude.

Spoken and pressed onto my heart by the One who knows my heart the best. I have a feeling 2021 for G and I is going to be a wild ride. We’ve been praying some outrageously, ridiculously, enormous prayers and are so expectant of answers.

Have you been to a rodeo with the broncs and bulls in the ring? That seems like life sometimes. A non stop barrage of wild things that attempt to throw or buck off the rider and all we can do as the rider is to attempt to stay mounted. Stay planted. Stay focused. Stay steadfast.

When inconveniences and difficulties come at us, we can stand against them, united with fortitude, together. Don’t check out and roll over. That gives you no say, no power, no conviction and no control over your thoughts. It keeps you stuck in the thoughts and will of others. It keeps you at the mercy of what others are saying and speaking into you. It keeps you held in dead and old beliefs, wedged into fear and panic, sometimes adhered in unforgiveness, rooted in the past, inviting a different kind of stress. Do you need to forgive? Maybe just from this year?

I’ve done a lot of hard work on things of my past. I’m so happy I’m not asked to stay there. I don’t have to live there any longer. I think about it on occasion, but honestly worked and grew enough in my 30’s that I was able to drop the deeply rooted and exhaustingly heavy load of garbage, abuse, trauma and negativity that I was immersed in, walk away and not look back. Fear and damage of the past, doesn’t have the power to keep you there. The work is worth it. I know I don’t have to stay locked into that past and that’s how I’m starting to feel about this year. I won’t stay stuck here, and will do whatever I can to forge forward. I thank God for taking those burdens of my past. Walking alongside me. Guiding me. It wasn’t magic, It wasn’t a guru, it was solely my relationship with the Lover of my Soul and truly without His guiding hand over my life I’d be a lost mess.

I’m always grateful when a new year rolls around. It’s like stepping into a fresh new chapter. A blank page we can move on to and allow the past things to wither and die. I think for the majority of us, we feel that 2020 can certainly return to the ground, dead. I’m hopeful we can walk into a new year with renewed hope. Restoring lost things, start to heal, rebuild, soaked in strength, passion and fortitude.

Do you dream? Like daydream? That’s something G and I have kept alive our whole relationship, we dream. A lot. Out-loud. We sit and talk about the most-wildest-things. Things we want to accomplish, things we want to do and change and places we want to see. We get giddy like teenagers. I’ve always loved that about us. We’ve knocked off quite a bucket list thus far and will continue until the wheels fall off. It gives us opportunities to look forward to and countless memories to look back on. We’ve had moments this year that have challenged us, and changed us and we’ve definitely had to adjust the sails, but we’ve done just that; yelled out “Jibe-Ho” and swung around in a new direction. If not, we would’ve stayed stuck. Complaining about what could’ve been or what we’ve missed.

2020 has given us a lot to think about and afforded us time to dig deep into things we’d like to to be different in the coming years and places in our lives that have grown stagnant, dead and need to be pruned. That’s one thing with G and I, we don’t do “stuck” very well and are fighters for movement anywhere we feel things are lifeless. Be a job, our kids, a place to live, toxic relationships, our own relationship or just overall unhappiness with a situation. We are both just stubborn enough to dig in, rip out the roots, do the hard work and stand up for what makes us happy, because again, life’s too short. I guess we’ve both always felt that, if we aren’t happy, and we know that we aren’t in a growth spurt (there is such a season) that we will tunnel in and God-willing, change some things up.

We recently took a road trip up north. It’s a trip we usually make every year, but this year we weren’t sure about going. The pandemic PLUS we had other things that were planned, but out of nowhere came an injury that took me out of a 50-mile ultramarathon in GA that would’ve fallen too close to Thanksgiving to make the trip north this year. Instead of feeling stuck, we hopped in the car and no kidding, sang out loud and played air guitar to every great 70’s songs we could remember, while I DJ’d Spotify. I even texted my mother in law, because G was telling me some of the greatest stories from being a kid in the 70’s. He’s such a great storyteller and wildly remembers EVERY speck of his childhood. We laughed until we couldn’t breathe.

Have you kept some remnant of fun this year?

Have things during this year changed you, but possibly for the better? Have you had a few Jibe-Ho moments? Is it time to burrow in, rip roots and replant where joy will bloom in all circumstances? What drives your passions and are you living those out? Are you living your truest self down to you marrow? Not who you think you should be, not what others have told you to be, not how others are living, but the TRUE you? This right here, can bring an abundance of joy! Do you have the ability to laugh? Im talking those gut pulling, tear staining your cheeks, doubled over, laughter? Do you pursue your passions? Do you know what they are? Do you use your gifts and talents for something greater and bigger than yourself? Can you dive to the bottom of the quarry where stagnation lives and come up with fresh water?

Can you find small things to celebrate?

Great words passed down from our amazing Pastor-

Merry Christmas to you all and may this new year bring you health, happiness, purpose and wholeness.

No Better Timing

Posted on January 9, 2020 by sportymama70 | 1 Comment

Want to know how God works and shows up in my life? The confirmations he gives me?

As I continued through the month of December in prayer for my Word of the Year (I’ve always done this instead of resolutions), I was getting nowhere. I battled over this in frustration, my impatience getting the better of me. I was praying with no response.

My hubs, on the other hand, came home one day mid-December, sat down, and revealed his Word to me. I was so happy for him, honestly, but was feeling stalled.

I’ve had years when as November/December rolls around and I start praying and asking for my Word, it’s there. Immediately and rapidly coming to the forefront. I’ve also had years when, like this year, God has taken his time in delivery.

As if, His timing isn’t perfect.

As if he didn’t have this Word in mind for me before I was even on this earth.

As if he knows better.

As if the timing that needs to happen for His clarity to shine through and for me to be READY to receive is inadequate.

I continued in daily prayer. I sat for days, silently, in the mornings on the floor of our bedroom in meditation and nothing…

Que more frustration.

It’s funny how prayer works and moves. I was FaceTiming with a friend today, and we were talking about how they are teaching their young kid(s) about prayer and how it’s not always for bedtime or before a meal, that you can pray anywhere and always. It’s those silent whispers to God, in the car, on a walk, in the shower or as you’re doing the dishes or laundry or in the case of kids… even on the playground.

I felt like I was on prayer overload (is there such a thing as TOO much prayer? The answer is NEVER) and my husband kept asking if I’d heard my Word yet, I was getting antsy.

Man, if that isn’t a terrible place to reside. Antsy. Restless in the desert, feeling deficient and lacking. I prayed on just that for a few days… I mean here I’m just waiting on a WORD for the year when others are waiting for so much more to show up.

So. Much. More.

Then it hit me; waiting is a proactive stance of drawing closer to God. Through waiting, at times, our faith can be tested, but it also cultivates good fruit in our lives, such as patience, perseverance, and endurance. It also draws us closer to God.

When we choose to wait quietly and trustingly, we honor God, and I know God’s goodness is promised for those who wait patiently for him! No matter how long.

Sigh

I knew one thing; I wasn’t going to stop praying, and I wasn’t going to stop anticipating an answer. I waited more eagerly for our Creator to act.

When my Word finally did show up, I was discouraged at first. My husband, who had weeks before me, came home with his and shared, I thought, “how powerful!” He was almost in tears over it. It both scared him and made his heart pound with hope and expectancy.

I sat down that night and talked with G. Was this really “the word” for the year? What does it mean? I wanted a fun word, a word that sounded more “me,” a word that is fruity and felicitous. Something amusing and cheerful with punch and significant meaning behind it. Me, me, me… why are we always drawn back into making everything about ourselves?

I mean… what am I to do with THIS Word?

Nothing. I am to do nothing with it.

I wrote it down.

P U R P O S E

I quietly uttered an enormous “thank you.” and then thought… “I am going to do absolutely nothing with this Word, but the Maker who gave it to me is going to turn my life upside down this year with it. I’m quite sure of this.”

A few days later, my daughter and I decided to attend a different campus from our regular church. We did this because my husband was mixing sound at this campus for the worship team (on a day that he wasn’t originally scheduled to be there) so we thought we’d go. It was a Saturday night, not our regular Sunday service, and this particular week each campus pastor was speaking individually at each campus instead of our lead pastor. Which hardly ever happens.

A L L of this is out of the norm… but you know… When God shows up, it’s always out of the standard norm.

After worship, the pastor comes up and says his title for his message that night was:

PURPOSE REVEALED THOUGH PROCESS.

Read that again.

PURPOSE

Revealed

Through

Process.

I stood in complete reverence and amazement!

As the pastor spoke, I felt the nudge of God. His breath all over me. Then the pastor said;

“Never feel so common with God that you’re not expectant.”

Oh, me of little faith.

He continued saying, “God is a God of the process, not the product, and God reveals himself and his purpose in the process.”

In my process of waiting on my Word, He showed up. Just like He always does. In His own time and in His own way.

Then something came to the forefront;

Maybe I’m running after things that are not my assignment (my purpose.) Things that are in my heart, but God never assigned for me.

My hysterics and tantrum about my Word dissolved right there onto the floor of that unfamiliar church.

Full stop & Mic drop.

Allow me the honor of praying for you friends. In whatever way you need. Text me, call me, message me. And I ask one favor of you; Pray for me. Pray that this year God works in the most unimaginable, unthinkable, incomprehensible, intentional ways to reveal what this Word will bring to life in me. His purpose. My purpose in Him. What use (purpose) is He calling me to? Pray for me to live with a more God-driven purpose and ALWAYS to live a purpose bigger than myself.

I believe to live a life with both passion and purpose; we must continue to learn who Jesus is. God has better plans for us that we can even imagine.

Merry Everything and Happy Always

Posted on January 2, 2017 by sportymama70 | 2 Comments

Who doesn’t love a fresh start?

As the clock rolled over into another new year, we were surrounded by love, laughter and friendship, good food and champagne. I took a brief moment, almost as if I was standing outside and looking in, to take it all in. I saw a lot of happiness. I saw a lot of joy! I heard conversations. Heard screams of cheer and saw fireworks. I always seem to get nostalgic and semimetal in the New Year. I have always loved talking and thinking about the past year. It’s lessons. It’s losses. It’s new and second chances. What great things happened, how far we’ve come and what we have to look forward t0.

The hubs and I had one last official date of the year on the 30^th. In a restaurant full of people, I love that somehow it can still be only us. A hundred people swirling around us and it’s simply he and I. Alone. We talked about the incredible year we had. A BIG year! A graduate. A lot of travel. The sell of a house. A move. A new career move.

Starting it off we had our last baby child gradate high school. That in itself was huge! Empty-nesters.

You know when you’re just starting out and you’re building your family…that word seems like an eternity away and then one day you wake up, and you’re there. It. Goes. By. So. Quickly.

Over the years of our life, he and I have had dreams and goals. We’d talked often about life after our chicks were gone and out of the nest. I am grateful and thankful that we have remained a constant with one another. Best friends who have grown up and grown closer over the years of raising a family. Always putting God first, then one another, then our family. We will no longer have carpools, school calendars, dance recitals, swim meets, football games, gymnastics meets, ski club, co-op, homeschooling, trips to craft stores for projects, teacher meetings and the mountain of other actives that accumulate while raising kids. What would life be like when it’s not full of running errands and helping with homework? We dreamed, he and I. We always have. We made goals. We looked forward to the future, all the while LOVING the time raising our kids, but looking forward to that chance to become just a couple again, someday. Isn’t it fun to dream with your spouse? To reach in and pull out one another’s heart and examine it? As we stepped into 2016, we knew that time was upon us. We did it! We celebrated our success at raising the last of our three kids to adulthood.

One of the plans was to sell our big house and downsize. After all….we would both rather collect memories, not things. Travel more and not be tied down to a house that is way too large for two. Not to mention maintenance; lawn care, snow removal. Not our thing. We’ve always thought there are better ways to spend our time. Mission accomplished. The move was tumultuous to say the least. The binging and purging was taking way longer for us than expected. We both felt as if while we were paring our house down, we were paring our life down. Letting go of “things” was so refreshing and it allowed for evaluation of every single aspect of our life.

After my JMT trip, I had already come back a changed person (more when I continue that post) I came back ready for change, ready to purge…everything. I had lived 3-weeks out of a tent and backpack. I had nothing but time to process unwanted garbage out of my life. When I returned I had a new focus and new zest for life, that when shared with the hubs, motivated him just the same. He didn’t need to be out in the wilderness to catch everything I was getting at. Taking 6 days to drive the coast after that trip was the best debrief I could’ve asked for. I shared my journaling with him and it came as NO SURPRISE that he and I were both on the same page. LET IT GO!! A fresh start was about to take place. The move….well, it was just the icing on the cake. It sealed the deal that everything we had talked and dreamed about all these years, was about to break free and come to fulfillment.

Our words for last year were Patience and Prepare. Every year instead of resolutions, we wait and listen for ONE WORD. Isn’t it just like our God to give us those two words? Patience and Prepare. WOW! Our ENTIRE year was lived out and based on the fulfillment of those words. I learned patience like I’ve never had before. Through all of my training and racing last year, through injury and sickness, I HAD to be patient with myself, with my body, with my health. Hiking days on end for long hours in the Sierras instills patience like I’ve never encountered. Selling a house…pushes it to the brink. But I knew that God had prepared me/us for all of it.

During the process of moving, we took the advice of those friends who have gone through the same thing. The ones who have dreamed big and had those dreams become reality, some selling their homes to travel and live by RV, some selling and moving different states to chase the sun and some who sold homes to live their dream of living on a boat. Talk about having to purge! We loved the encouragement. Loved the inspiration! The purging became so much more to us than getting rid of our stuff. I literally became clearing out EVERYTHING we felt was holing us back, holding us down, holding us hostage. Baggage. The trunks dragging behind that were getting too heavy to haul. Bad, unhealthy relationships, bills, toxic unauthentic people in our lives, old unforgiveness, walls that were built over time, that needed climbed over or broken down, unhealthy eating and drinking, missed workouts and missed opportunities, resentments. You name it, it was flushed out. God worked on our hearts as a couple and individually. He guided and showed us the way. And when it was done…..we felt a whole new sense of freedom. We felt …. Light. And as 2016 slipped away and 2017 came flowing in God whispered my word for the year: Intention. Be intentional.

Living with intention to me means, to live with purpose. To continue to foster the REAL in me, verses what people want of me. Live deliberately. Instead of thinking “I don’t have time” really evaluate if it is a priority, and move on from there. And if it’s not, to not allow guilt of any kind creep in. I want my actions to speak more than my voice. I want to be intentional with friends, giving them the undivided attention they deserve while we are together. I want to surround myself with people on fire for life. I want to be intentional in my food choices, my exercise, and the time spent doing the things I love: traveling with my hubs and soaking in salt water. I want things in my home to have a use and a meaning, not just “because its shiny” I want to wake up each morning with my aim focused to my Creator, to listen to what He has in store for me. I want to be a magnet for miracles and notice them everywhere, every day. I want to continue to notice the beauty and abundance that’s all around me. I want to dig deeper and deeper into the Word of God. I want to be intentional in my relationship with my hubs, honoring and respecting him everyday and being acutely aware to his needs and interests and fanning those in him. I want to believe good things are happening everyday. I want to be intentional to giving, to doing everything with a good heart and expecting nothing in return. I want to inspire others in my walk with God. I want to watch less TV and be outdoors more. I want to drink more water. I don’t want to “settle” for anything, realizing life is short and fleeting. I want to NOTICE more. I want to journal and pray more. I want to serve more and be aware of others needs. Spend time with those I adore. I want to take more risks and love fiercely, even if others can’t return that love. I want to let go and let God, knowing I cannot control the uncontrollable. I want to soak in the knowledge that each day starts with new grace and fresh mercy.

This journey into a new year will be radical. Exciting and challenging! I already know it will be filled with more joy than we will know how to contain. Join me in raising a glass, to your ONE word, to your resolutions, to your new year, new you, new career, new marriage, new baby, new chapter or maybe even a whole new book. Get excited! Flip the page.