Untapped Fullness

I’ve been on and off about writing in The Time of COVID. I have friends and family all over the place about this crazy time of quarantine, and rationing toilet paper and visiting supermarkets with masks at only certain times of the day.
For us, things haven’t been as hard-hitting as some have experienced. It’s heartbreaking to see the loss of jobs, business, finances, health, and to see so many stricken by fear.
Our area was later to the game as far as quarantine lock-downs and runs to the store to hoard goods. Little by little, we saw a trickle of items disappear but still at any given moment I’ve been able to walk into a store and get toilet paper. My husband and I eat a whole food plant-based diet, so for us, stocking a freezer or pantry doesn’t work incredibly well. When I first decided to grab a couple “extras” it was 2 cans of chickpeas and 2 cans of black beans. Fear has caused people to go… a little off the rails. Throughout this entire time, I have continued shopping every few days. The fresh produce has been PLENTIFUL! My hubs and I joked that with the world ending, the Vegans will live on because as inside isles (packaged & processed foods) of the grocery store were getting barer and barer, the fruits, veggies, nuts, herbs, lentils, beans and seeds were overflowing.

I have had a few days when we watched the news and I thought… am I having a false sense of security? Should I run to the store and stock my car full? I didn’t and here we are, eating a healthy diet, still.

We are not news watchers. We never have been. I like a morning update (online) and the Sunday NY Times which we have delivered. ALL of a sudden I noticed my phone starting to blow-up with all sorts of banners and alerts and warnings. My social media feeds were going crazy with news and photos of cars filled with sanitizer and toilet paper. I started to fall prey to looking more. Finally, I took a step back. The media has been on a feeding frenzy over this and THEY SELL FEAR! Fear is the best way to control people. We can’t allow fear to dictate our stories.
I did a social media cleanse which included cleansing from not only “looking” but also getting rid of articles and groups that were not nurturing my soul. I always say… just like the food you put into your body, what you put in your mind can be just as corrosive. Junk in, junk out. As an athlete, I would never demand or expect my body to perform well feeding it junk. Same with my mind. Watch news all day and see how you feel versus taking ONE day to not check your phone, not check your social feeds and instead get outside and move a little. Go for a hike, bike or walk in the fresh air. Take big full gulps of oxygen. See how things look after 24 hours. You’ll be amazed! Sitting inside during a pandemic may be the worst thing you could do.

My hubs and have a ritual; every morning we have coffee together and read and discuss a devotional. We pray together. It’s how we start the day to set our hearts and minds in a trajectory for the GOOD. It’s grown our faith. Some days challenge us. Much like that morning cuppa that gets people going, this does the same thing for us. Our minds are set above the waves and that’s how we walk through the rest our day. Not getting mired down. Even when things are trending downward globally we can still have the hope for a great tomorrow. We walk in gratitude and focus on things within our control. Not dwelling on the negative or the past. Each day is new and brings along with it, fresh opportunities. No matter who you are, this is a good practice. Set an intention.

We talked this morning about how much change this virus and quarantine is bringing to not only our states and nation, but the world! We have, for years, been a population of technology. Don’t get me wrong technology is fantastic (hello Zoom dinners and cocktail parties!) but the whole “social” part of social media has lent to people feeling more isolated, more alone, more depressed. People NEED people. We talked about how during this time of being more isolated than ever, MAYBE this is what will cause a change. A shift! I can tell you RIGHT now, I am dying to hug ALL the people.
This has challenged me (us)
G and I are very social. We love going out, going to breweries, going to restaurants, wine bars, museums, concerts, the theatre and we love people. We miss socializing with friends.
I have continued to run with friends weekly since this virus started. We’ve been very careful to keep our distance, which is easy when you’re dealing with a bunch of dirt and vert loving trail runners. Not to mention that most of the time we are in the middle of Nowhere, Wild Forest, North Carolina. It’s nothing but space and fresh air. BUT I cannot wait to high-five after a good long run. Or hug goodbye when we get back into our cars. As a social person IRL this has been hard.

We talked this morning about the fact that we will probably never walk by a stranger without talking to them. We won’t ever sit by someone in a restaurant without saying hello. We won’t ever pass up the opportunity for a hug. Our pastor is SO great (in normal circumstances) before we sit in church on Sunday mornings he will always say, “hug 3, 7, 10…14 people!” Some days it is awkward. It will never be again!

There are still ways, even now, to feel the fullness of life. Are you eating well or have you succumbed to boxed foods because you feel like it’s what you hoarded and now need to consume? DON’T! Are you still exercising? Even with 100% of the country on stay-at-home orders and social distancing, the outdoors are still open. Fresh air is still available to you. Get outside! Pick up a new hobby. Read more. Paint. Take the time for bubble baths. Rearrange your furniture. Give your house a good spring cleaning. Purge all of the unrecognizable, unnecessary “things” you’ve collected that aren’t serving you a purpose anymore and are collecting dust. Clean a closet or cabinet a day and donate. A lot of people are in need right now and it feels good to bless with your excess. Learn to cook some new incredible meals. Challenge your significant other to an Iron Chef cook-off (we love doing this) Learn yoga or practice meditation. Lean into God and learn WHO he really is. Play board games. Go outside barefoot and stand or walk in your lawn. (This alone can make you feel better) Contact with the Earth’s surface electrons by walking barefoot outside is a therapeutic technique. It has positive effects on your body; improving sleep, helps pain management, reduces stress, anxiety, reduces inflammation and boosts immunity.

Anyone who knows me, knows I am a sold-out 100-percent glass half full girl! I can make a rainbow out of anything. Find the pony in the manure. I laugh a lot (and always have) and sometimes that’s all we can do. I grew up in a home lacking laughter, so as an adult, a wife, a mother that is something we nurtured and cultivated in our family. We laugh

A LOT.

We played tricks and pranks and had food fights, were silly, and joked about all sorts of things. We are, in general, a pretty un-serious crew. PS: laughing is great for your immune system.

I fling wide open my door and invite laughter right in to sit on my couch and have coffee, daily!

Take some time to laugh about things. Get goofy.

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Have you chosen to change some things up, instead of being mired down in the fear of what “could happen?”
Growing up all I heard from my parents was “what if?” As an adult, that was something I fought against. It didn’t make sense to me to think in those terms. For me, God flipped a switch from “what if?” in the negative sense to “what if!!!” in the excited and expectant sense. I never have the dismal, cloudy thoughts of “what if something goes bad.” And if I start down that road I can easily remember “This is the day the Lord has made… I love the TPT translation; “This is the very day of the Lord that brings gladness and joy, filling our hearts with glee.”

Are you still finding gratitude and joy every day?

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Have you allowed yourself some down-time and self-care and some time to figure out a new plan? A new normal. Sitting and thinking about what could happen only steals the joy of today. Most of the time the “what if” and “this could happen” NEVER does. BUT what if it does? “What if” this is a brand new start to something extraordinary? Find new passions. Soak yourself in new wishes and goals and cravings and hope. Rediscover your spouse and who you fell in love with years ago. Watch your kids play outside and cultivate in yourself some of that youthful curiosity. Make a list of some dreams that you and your husband shelved a few years back, bring them to the forefront, and start creating the plan to make them happen post C19. Reorder your priorities. Allow things that are not serving you to break off and fall away. Make changes. Change is not comfortable and that’s why most people shy away from it, but you can’t grow if you don’t allow it to happen. Prune off the old, dead, damaged buds for new growth to spring forward.

I have done all of the above during this pandemic. Coming back from Central America as COVID was starting to make its way around the globe halted a lot of plans that my husband and I had. It halted our B-days, it halted a trip to NYC to celebrate our B-days, it paused some big races that we were training for and it paused a huge backpacking trip in the South Asia mountains of Nepal.

I’ve been reading a lot in Psalms and noticed that so many say “Interlude” between paragraphs. I have another Bible version that instead of “Interlude” it says, “Pause in His Presence”
I loved this and realized this is where we are right now.
Paused. It’s had allowed us a breath. A gigantic intake of fullness. A gulp of oxygen.
It’s made room for some pretty spectacular new friendships to grow. It’s given us more time for our Life Group (eGroup) through our church; even if currently we have to meet every week via Zoom. Ha! It’s given us a chance to have some fun challenges with other friends that we run with, without the daily training schedule we usually keep to. It has allowed me to bake more. (Still wondering if this is good or bad) Ha! It’s given us the opportunity to explore more of our gorgeous state and the surrounding mountains, trails, and beaches.

How do you see this pause? Are you freaked and panicked and fearful? Are you thinking about what you’re missing right now or looking in the past? Or have you allowed this slow intermission to grow your potential? To allow joy to saturate all the dry places? To allow some healing on your mind, body, and soul? To repair what was lacking and broken? To enable you to find new passions, interests, potential, and empowerment? To let go of things not serving you? To de-clutter not only your house but your heart and soul? To bring your tank to fullness? Are you being refreshed?

Your inward disposition will always determine your outward outlook. You cannot let what’s happening around you affect what’s living in you.

Do you find yourself saying you just want to get back to normal? Back to the old way?

I keep thinking to a few weeks ago at church and the notes I jotted down; what if normal isn’t something to get back to? What if we want to get back to what we were trying to get rid of in the first place? When you are fearful you reach out to what is familiar even if the familiar was killing you. Negativity can feel normal. Keep believing and trusting God by faith or you’re going to find yourself missing today’s opportunities because you were too attached to yesterday’s blessing.

I don’t have all the answers and I know people suffer on various levels but I know what works for me and my house. I know faith and gratitude and fitness and food all work in conjunction for me. I know dancing and prayer and music and laughter is something I have to drink a full glass of every day. I know running gives me sanity and the smell of the forest and dirt and trees nourish my entire soul. It’s how I’m knit together.

“If God can’t get your attention he will change your direction.”
Wow!! Is he changing your direction right now?
Your faith grows in unfamiliar places.

It’s a different time for sure but remember; Faith looks forward!

Keep your eyes above the waves and keep bumping into blessings, my friends.

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*Media notes curtesy of PSF. Wave lyrical quote curtesy of Oceans by Hillsong United

Beauty That Remains

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Building a house is no joke. How about this? Building a house in a third-world country.

My heart still stings when I think, talk and dream about Honduras. Back one week now, tears bite at the corners of my eyes on mention. Little by little I reacclimatize to being home and I get so excited to tell our story.

Actually….God’s story.

We had an incredible team hand-picked by God; a blend of new people, some of whom had never left the country before, let alone on a mission trip and some who are well-traveled veterans. None of us, with the exception of one (I believe) have any real building experience.  Funny how that has never made a difference….. IMG_1068

UnknownGod enters into the scenario. Only through Him do you get a team of men and women to create something wonderful with no experience. He always shows up and always blows my mind. This is who He is.

We arrived on our build site to find 2 foundations poured, side-by-side. This was amazing, as we were really praying for this prior to the trip, so we could share recourses throughout our build time AND not have to split up the team. We made some preparations with our team foreman, and set off on our task of building two transitional homes for families living and working in the trash dump in Tegucigalpa.

We had 3 and a half days to build these houses!

IMG_0928IMG_0863   Building relationships is one of the best things that I love about mission work. Partnering with God, alongside other people; some of whom you’ve never met, to create something; These people become your family. It’s happened with every mission trip I’ve been on. There is nothing like that bond. It lasts and is one of many things that I feel blessed with from these trips.

As the days continued and houses were erected with the help of some amazing Honduran workers I loved watching the process. I loved being in the moment. I wasn’t rushing to get things done; I knew they would be. I wasn’t feeling a sense of urgency; I know everything works in God’s timing. I wasn’t worried we wouldn’t complete the houses; He who sent us, will equip us.  I found myself, several times, standing back and smiling at what was happening around me…..IMG_0848IMG_0830IMG_0780

Laughter between people of two different countries.

Conversations between people that do not speak the same language.

Differences being worked out in respectful ways between two strong-willed men.

IMG_0755Women learning how to use tools that I’m sure they’ve never used or possibly seen before.

Children shyly making eyes contact with us.

The young boys in the neighborhood who were always right there to help lift lumber and our spirits.

All of us bettering our Spanish language.

Learning new things everyday from our translators. (Some not so great…hello Chinche bug)

Women caring for one another when one of us fell ill.IMG_0710

The compassion we had for the ones that had to stay back at the hotel for sick days.

Making jokes with one another.

Laughter.

IMG_0912Dogs barking.

Turkeys gobbling.IMG_0706

So. Many. Smiles.

Generosity like I’ve never seen.

How thankful we were for one day’s rain.

Prayers being whispered for the clouds to show up in the sky.

The care everyone took to make sure everyone had a chance to try something new.

Complete selflessness.

IMG_0765Walls of a home being lifted.

Nails being bent and re-nailed to perfection.

Complete surrender and reliance on a God who was preparing the way ahead of us on this trip the entire time we were there.

Softened hearts.

IMG_0915Rooves <roofs> going onto houses.

Children teaching us Spanish.

The strengthening of our hearts.

Playing a simple game of Telephone in English and Spanish that created unbelievable amounts of laughter.IMG_0939

Smashed thumbs and healed hearts.

Fears being released.

Lives being changed.

Family being able to share an amazing experience together.

The love between a mother and son.

A mama trusting me enough to hold her chubby, baby girl.

IMG_0688Hands working together.

Great patience.

God’s love and presence everywhere.

IMG_1004A dad’s love for his sweet daughters.

Tears of joy.

Tired bodies still willing to do something more.

Butterflies.

Beauty in the struggle.

So. Many. Answered. Prayers.

And then….the day came for us to dedicate these houses to the families. This is really the moment we wait for. Meeting the families for the first time. Seeing them coming up the road, quietly, shy and grateful.  Maybe a little overwhelmed. This is where we see a reverse of blessings. The place where we think we are blessing someone, only to find out the blessing is coming right back onto us. To stand and witness a mother and her 3 small kids as she sees her new home for the first time; blessed.  This is the beauty of God.  It’s etched into my mind forever. I think in this moment; THIS, this is why we are here. This is why we have life. This is why we have been blessed beyond belief with the recourses to be here, in this moment. This….does it get any better than this? This is making kingdom differences. This is making world differences. images

As we pray for and dedicate these homes to the families;tears fall.  Our hearts ache with a joy that’s inconceivable to most.  The witnessing of God’s presence everywhere is undeniable and unimaginable.  God’s beauty is thick like a blanket over this place.  His never-ending mercy and grace abounds.  It’s what brought us here and what will continue to bring us here. Amor, Fe, Esperanza.  Love, Faith and Hope…To Him be the glory!

For more about partnering with AFE:http://www.afehonduras.org

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Dump-Teguciglapa Honduras

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The dump day is so hard. I wake early, knowing that this will be the day for the visit. Praying to God that he protect and surround the hearts of our team with a supernatural force. That he allow us each to see exactly what we need to see.

For me, breakfast is quiet. Being in Honduras last year; I know. I understand what’s coming. It’s hard not to try and explain to our new team members what’s going to happen. I want to prepare them for the ambush to the heart that’s going to happen as we drive up to and visit the dump, but I cannot. They need to take it in the way God sees fit for them, and not some prewritten script from those of us that have prior experience.

As we turn onto the road, my heart seizes. What will it be like this time? I have been here. Will it be less impactful? Will it seem old hat?

As we climb the bumpy hill, I start to smell what’s ahead of us. That thick, rancid smell of rot and decomposition. I pray silently and tears sting my eyes. “Spirit lead me where my trust is without boarders. You’ve called me here. You’ve prepared me for this. Be here with us. Open my eyes even wider on this journey. Allow me to have the heart and eyes to see these people as Jesus sees them. I have prayed so many times “Send Me.” and here I am in the middle of this, thank you.”

~Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, “Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?” And I said, “Here am I. Send me!” Isaiah 6:8

Unknown-1We step out of the truck into a war zone. Ravaged ground teaming with busyness. The buzzards and dogs swarm around heaping piles of decay. I pan out as the smell lands thick and rancid on my tongue. My eyes burn. My heart heaves in my chest as I see them appearing. Sepia-toned people.  Dirty and broken as if they came from underground.  They head towards us, knowing that we have come to feed them. They surround us fifteen, maybe twenty deep or more with hands reached out. I stand back from the line taking it all in with my bag of tortillas and rice. It’ s brand new to me again. Not the same as I remember it being. I hear the Holy Spirit speak to my heart “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.” These are the least of these.

The line in front of me runs out of tortillas and it’s my turn to step up. I feel my heart quicken and a sob starting to climb up my throat. I step forward and look at outstretched hands. My eyes continue to travel down disheveled arms to faces. Women and children surrounded in meagerness. It’s a need so profound it’s undescribeable. I reach into my bag and we touch hands. I think “this could’ve been any of us” Had we been born of a different country. Smiles emerge on the faces of these sweet, women and children. I just want to grab them and hug them. I want to scoop them up, and bring them with us. The passion I feel runs so deep for them it burns my stomach. I stare into their eyes. They are grateful and genuine. A meal today. They have one meal today. I think of my own children. As a mother this stings me. Had I been born in any other place; this could’ve been me. Us. It’s hard to hand out only one pack to each women and child. They ask for more. “Dos por favor?” as they hide one behind their back. I wonder if they have more children back in their home made of plastic and parts that the dump has given up to them. My heart lurches thinking about this. What would I have done for my children in this situation?

I am down to water now as the team walks and spreads out a little. We still stay somewhat close as this area is not safe to wander far. I smile and talk to people. Are they thirsty? Do they need agua? The hands continue to stretch out and I continue to see their eyes crease in smiles. How much we take for granted every single day in our country. Our abundance. Our taps that run gallon after gallon of fresh water at our disposal at any second. Water is something I don’t even feel we are really grateful for; but they are. This small plastic bladder of water I hold could mean life or death for them today. I think about waking every day to a restart. That’s life for them. It’s a do-over every day. They wake to scour the dump for recycleables or the scrap food left behind. The possibility of an old bottle of hot, coke with one sip that was left. That’s their day. Every day.

People begin to surround us asking for prayer. Their needs run so much deeper than their poverty. You would think that this would be their first need. I think too immediate. Our culture has done that to me. They need prayer for sick family members. A son that is dying. Here in the disintegration and rot, a son is dying and this mother is weeping. Our team surrounds her and prays for her in our English language. God hears us. She hears us, and knows what we are saying even though she doesn’t speak the language. She hugs us and is so grateful. As this mother leaves another approaches; this time, pregnant. She will give birth to and raise her baby right here.

As we climb back into the truck I allow my tears to fall. I continue my prayers for these people as we drive away. My emotions run wild and I feel that twinge of guilt. We can leave. It seems unfair.

It’s hard for me to see that type of need and not be able to change it in an instant. I think about the impact we have partnering with AFE to build homes for these people, and for the children to have the opportunity for education through AFE. God is good. It may not happen in a spilt second, but it is making a difference. One family at a time.

I am reminded of the verses we studied over the week. The parable of the talents in Matthew 25. Everyone got something, but no one got everything.

As we come back home and acclimate to being back into a wealthy country; a first world country, I need to keep reminding myself of this: Why God put us here and not there. And even though I feel like a refugee coming back into my own home, I don’t allow guilt to swallow me. I thank God for the compassion he has put in my heart. Without that I would walk around in such abundance and only crave more. My job is to feel a burden, not guilt. God gave us what we have knowing he can trust us with the recources. It’s not an issue of fairness, but of what we can handle and how we are going to use it. Partnering together to do kingdom work. images

Our next trip is already in the works. Dates are already being set. I thank God for giving me eyes to see beyond my four walls. To be witness to what real need is and what genuine thankfulness is.

For more information on AFE and their impact on the people of the Tegucigalpa trash dump click here: http://www.afehonduras.org